Cancer Journal - Friday August 9th - A Spiritual Awakening
I
just had a powerful experience of meditation. Probably, it was fueled by the
fact that I was able to do it in the middle of the day, without distractions
and without being exhausted to the temptation of sleep constantly.
The meditation practice began in its normal way. However, I soon began to experience myself as energy and space surrounded by energy in a way that I had not before. Not only was I feeling this experience but I was also having visual representations of the experience. I was seeing these spheres of white light that would start small and then diminish as if moving off into a distance. Later, as I had moved deeper into the meditation, these spheres reappeared but where they had been small water drops of light that diminished to pinpoints, they now started off as large globes covering most of my field of vision before similarly diminishing to pinpoints.
As I went further into the meditation, I finished visualizing myself as pure energy surrounded in a universe of energy so that I and the universe were one connected energy. After this happened, I began to see the realm of possibility and it was not a light. Instead it was a field of deep purple, doppled with masses of possibility that were so deep that they almost appeared black in the purple but it was not menacing. Instead, it felt like a source of creativity and possibility. There I began to see my beliefs and expectations as just ONE possibility in this realm of possibilities.
I released my beliefs (distortions) into that realm of possibilities and chose to believe that something else was possible in this infinite realm of possibilities. I met God there, assuring me that God was possible because everything is possible and that me being healed of my distortions and my disease was here among the possible.
At a couple different times during this part of the meditation, I had a sensation of an itch or sharp pain and when I scratched it, it was as if I had been momentarily been brought back fully into my body. But, just as quickly, I saw the globes of light diminishing into pinpoints, followed by the indigo field of possibilities. But this time, the indigo field was uniform for a while.
I chose the possible that included healing the disease and distortions and then released those choices into God’s hands, knowing that God created the wisdom that moved my body from a sperm and an egg containing DNA that created every miraculous thing about me into the whole that it is today. And that same wisdom is capable of healing in ways that I cannot do with my conscious mind the way I can choose to lift my hand as a conscious movement.
When I released those choices into God’s hands, I felt a tingling in my scalp that was different from the itching sensations I had felt earlier. I had no need to touch my head and overwhelm the tingling with my own tactile movements. And eventually, the tingling mostly subsided on its own although I still feel it a little bit even now, about 20 minutes later.
I finished the meditation with a blessing and gratitude for what is changing because it has simultaneously begun to change and already changed.
The meditation practice began in its normal way. However, I soon began to experience myself as energy and space surrounded by energy in a way that I had not before. Not only was I feeling this experience but I was also having visual representations of the experience. I was seeing these spheres of white light that would start small and then diminish as if moving off into a distance. Later, as I had moved deeper into the meditation, these spheres reappeared but where they had been small water drops of light that diminished to pinpoints, they now started off as large globes covering most of my field of vision before similarly diminishing to pinpoints.
As I went further into the meditation, I finished visualizing myself as pure energy surrounded in a universe of energy so that I and the universe were one connected energy. After this happened, I began to see the realm of possibility and it was not a light. Instead it was a field of deep purple, doppled with masses of possibility that were so deep that they almost appeared black in the purple but it was not menacing. Instead, it felt like a source of creativity and possibility. There I began to see my beliefs and expectations as just ONE possibility in this realm of possibilities.
I released my beliefs (distortions) into that realm of possibilities and chose to believe that something else was possible in this infinite realm of possibilities. I met God there, assuring me that God was possible because everything is possible and that me being healed of my distortions and my disease was here among the possible.
At a couple different times during this part of the meditation, I had a sensation of an itch or sharp pain and when I scratched it, it was as if I had been momentarily been brought back fully into my body. But, just as quickly, I saw the globes of light diminishing into pinpoints, followed by the indigo field of possibilities. But this time, the indigo field was uniform for a while.
I chose the possible that included healing the disease and distortions and then released those choices into God’s hands, knowing that God created the wisdom that moved my body from a sperm and an egg containing DNA that created every miraculous thing about me into the whole that it is today. And that same wisdom is capable of healing in ways that I cannot do with my conscious mind the way I can choose to lift my hand as a conscious movement.
When I released those choices into God’s hands, I felt a tingling in my scalp that was different from the itching sensations I had felt earlier. I had no need to touch my head and overwhelm the tingling with my own tactile movements. And eventually, the tingling mostly subsided on its own although I still feel it a little bit even now, about 20 minutes later.
I finished the meditation with a blessing and gratitude for what is changing because it has simultaneously begun to change and already changed.
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