Cancer Journal - Monday April 20th


I went in for my final infusion this morning. My labs were all good. My platelets dropped below 100 but only to 98 so that’s practically stable. My white blood cells actually went up (by 1/10 of a point). The doctor was very encouraging about my blood labs. She noted that a lot of people don’t get past the third or fourth infusion before their blood chemistry is significantly impacted. Meanwhile, not only have ALL of my different blood cells stayed in a safe range for most of these treatments, my other blood chemistry results (sodium, potassium, other things that I can’t pronounce) have all been incredibly stable throughout these treatments. She made me feel like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of chemotherapy patients.


So, I got my infusion this morning and, when I was done, I got to ring the bell that you get to ring after your last infusion. I will still be going in on Wednesday since my protocol involves a slower infusion through a pump that I’m attached to for 44 hours. Then, I will be completely done.


A week from Wednesday, I got in for a cat scan. That will be the more definitive test that says that the cancer is gone (or at least a high level of certainty that it is gone). I don’t produce the marker in elevated levels when I have cancer so that metric is not available to me. However, after surgery to remove the known tumor, tests that showed cancer cells in only 6 of 23 lymph nodes, and a twelve cycle protocol, I have every reason to believe that my cat scan will be clean. Then, I expect to have a more frequent schedule of colonoscopies and cat scans for a little while. (I’ll know the protocol for that after I meet with my oncologist on May 18th.)


I feel extremely fortunate on SO many levels. First of all, I had good health insurance when I got this diagnosis. Secondly, I have cared for by nurses and doctors both known and unknown to me from the doctor who performed the colonoscopy to the anesthesiologist who put my kids at ease as they prepared me for surgery to the nurses who cared for me (and put up with me) when I was in surgical recovery to the numerous phlebotomists who drew my blood countless times over the last twelve months and the med students and others who were part of all these teams at University Hospital. Thirdly, my family. My sisters have offered love and support from a thousand miles away that I just didn’t expect. And Tamara has given me advice and alternative protocols to help mitigate the chemo effects while supporting my choice to use traditional methods of treatment as well. My kids have been tender and caring through some trying times, especially in October when I reacted poorly to the first chemo protocol. And, of course, Christine who became every job in the house back in October when I could barely get out of bed. And she has been constantly supportive on the days when I had an all day infusion and couldn’t care for the kids, the family grocery shopper so I can limit my points of contact with people during this Covid crisis, and so much more on days when I went to take a nap at 5pm and ended up sleeping until morning. And last but not least, there are all of the family, friends, and strangers with your prayers, good wishes, and constant reminders that you were thinking about me and my family. I have been beyond touched by all of the kindness I have received. But, as Tyler said to me a few months ago, “That is what we’re here to do, Dad. Be kind to each other.”


And all this happened during a time when I made the choice to be with my kids so that, I have had the freedom to focus on my cancer treatments in that context rather than have to figure out a way to “keep working” and take care of my health at the same time.


I am not a martyr. I got cancer when I least expected it. But the difference between, “I have cancer” said ten months ago and “I got cancer” said today is night and day. Ten months ago, I didn’t know what it was in front of me. Today, I can say that I have had it easier than I ever expected. Aside from the protocol that threw me for a loop back in October, my reactions to the chemo protocol have been so mild that I feel relatively strong and stable here during cycle twelve. The surgery and treatment process haven’t been a walk in the park but I don’t feel like I’ve been through a category five hurricane either. Many people are not so lucky as I have been through this process.


I don’t want to count my chickens before they’ve hatched. There’s still the possibility that a future cat scan or a colonoscopy could present unexpected outcomes. But I’d rather be facing the possibility that something unexpected could happen than facing the possibility that something unwelcome is expected.


Thanks for all of your support,


Todd

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